I want a poem for 2009
I want a voice for my hopes
To versify my dreams
That the passing of years have pushed to urgency
I want to shout, Now
Been waiting for so long
Been lazing and slacking
Hoping things will happen on their own
I want to push what can be moved
I want to change what is screaming to be changed
I want new colors
I want new words
To replace my life’s oft-repeated cliches
I want to sing a different tune
I want to drink new wine
I need a sea change
I need to see change
I want to enter a great, spanking new door
And fling open new windows to new worlds
I want to get inside my head
And check out new rooms I’ve never explored
I want to break old habits
And start good ones
I want to see different faces
On faces I’ve known for so long
I want to breathe new life to good old things
I want new shoes
I want to drive in roads I’ve never seen
I want to dive deep
For I’ve been wading in shallow waters
I want to close my eyes
And discover me
I want to discover a new element
I want to discover the Philippines
As if I were the first one here
I want to see things in a different light
I want to stay put and not be swayed
I want to be moved by passions
Guided by Wisdom
I want a new nose
To see my toes
I want to love deeply
Selflessly
Unflinchingly
I want to take a blank canvas
And paint something that will surprise me
I want to surprise others
With the song I’ve kept hidden
I want to sleep like others do
When others do
I want to know more about the people I know
I want to read more
I want to serve more
To give more
To be more
I want to have a baby in my womb
I want so much
I want a new poem for 2009
Something I’ve never written before
Something no one has ever said
No one has ever read
Something new
Nothing borrowed
Something great and glorious
Everything good
I want a poem of hope and truth
And love and joy for 2009
Category: NO RHYME
Categories
Holiday Haiku
Manic, mad, daily
Rush from here to everywhere
Too much everything
MERRY CHRISTMAS
to all who have dropped in here and made me smile knowing somebody finds my words worth reading. I pray for you a glorious, prosperous, peaceful, love-filled, blessed 2009!
Alone amid my books and things
In a tank top and underwear
The whir of the electric fan
The keyboard clicking clacking as I type
The humming of the mother board
Ambient noises from the street outside
Passing planes from a distant sky
No human noise except my own
Nasal noises and hacking cough
I am home. Here. I am alone.
It feels strange. I need to get used to this.
I’m home. Alone. Could hardly believe it.
And so, now what, now how, and for how long
When will the longing for excitement come
When will the antsy “what next” anguish start
How long before the idle mind awakes
And dreams of evil wicked games to play
Been here before, same time, this same place
Uh oh, watch out world, I am home alone.
– 2002? Unemployed
Separate souls
Different goals
Bound by circumstance and choice
The desires of our hearts
Wedge us apart
And lead us to forked paths
Do we put freedom
Ahead of unity
Do I respect his individuality
Does the need to merge
Take second place
To the growth of his spirituality
Our hearts ache for different things
Is this a sign
Need I discern a deeper meaning
Do I ignore the whispers of my instinct
Do I let go and let life unravel
Without my selfish controlling
Do I choose
Or do I wait
Do I push
Or leave it to fate
This might be long. but there’s a surprise at the end.
SEDUCTIVE
by Gege Sugue
copyright 2005
Your face.
The first thing to catch my eye
To ignite the spark
To captivate my heart
Beguile me
Make me take pause
And linger
Look closer
Your face.
Tells me to come nearer
To touch
To probe
And know you more
Sometimes I get hooked
Sometimes I resist
Walk away
Just to see another
Move on to a prettier face
Your face.
May be comely
May be plain
It may be mysterious
Or bold
Colorful or somber
You evoke ideas
You provoke
You invite
You taunt
Entice
And beckon me to know you
Hold you
Explore what lie beneath
Sometimes
Your face.
Reveals much about you
Sometimes it gives mere nuances
Sometimes it offers clues
Sometimes none
Sometimes it tells your story
Your triumphs
Sometimes you’re enigmatic
Making me wonder
Sometimes you are open
Allowing me a glimpse inside
Sometimes you are wrapped in veneer
Preventing even a preview
Heightening curiosity
Inviting risk
Challenging my daring
Goading me to take a chance
Making me ponder
If your substance
Is in parity
With your blatant beauty
I speculate
If you’re worth the price
Sometimes I simply move on
To another less guarded
Or maybe, to hell, I say
I embolden myself
And guiltily, stealthily
Rip off that prudish layer
I choose certainty
Over discovery
Tactile follow visual
My eyes burn down
Your spine.
My fingers pick up the trail
I try to compare you
To the others I already have
How you look in a line
Do you fit in
Do you stand out
Do you complement
Maybe it is not fair
To judge you
By the others I have
But I can’t help it
I am a connoisseur
I have had many
Any many more there are to be had
But no
I shouldn’t
Not again
I tell myself
Not now
The view of
Your back.
Tell me where you came from
Who loved you before
What you are about
Your essence
That separate you from the others
Your history
Your characters
Your maker
Your genre
Your promise.
To amuse me
In nights of solitude
In days of languor
Hours of ennui
To lift me
When the world fails me
To comfort me
Through moments of sorrow
To incite hysterics
Or dramatics
To sate a longing
For knowledge
For inspiration
For travel
Experimentation
Mindlessness
Profundity
Inanity
Intensity
Pretense
Fantasy
Escape
Truth
My palm glides along
Your body.
The longing quickens
The hook deepens
I resist
You persist
You tease
You tell me there’s more
To see
To know
I turn away
You call me back
I give in
Grab you
Hold you
I succumb
I pay the price
And bring you home
Hide you from my beloved’s eyes
You, my guilty vice
I unwrap you
And mark my name on you
I breathe in
Your scent.
Heady
Unique
Special
Could be the crisp fresh smell of new
Or the musty scent of old
Maybe I found you in a pristine place
Untouched
Or maybe I unearthed you
In a dingy bargain place
Maybe you’ve had someone own you
And use you a multitude of times
Before I did
But it does not matter
Because no matter how much
I hold you
Use you
Abuse you
Sap all you have
No matter how much I take of you
You give more
And promise a next time
Assure me
That when I take you again
You will offer as much
Your words.
Unspoken yet powerful
Inspiring
Soulful
Soul food
Evocative, compelling
Pleasing not my ears
But my core
Sometimes sublime
Sometimes crass
May be funny
Or blasé
Angry
Angst ridden
Sarcastic
Satiric
Intellectual
Pseudo intellectual
Shallow
Mellow
Pretentious
Mellifluous
Brash
Rash
Glib
Flip
Illuminating
Edifying
Revealing
Reflecting
Searing
Stirring
Agitating
Awakening
Convicting
Causing discomfort
Serving as a mirror
To my foibles
My weaknesses
My fears
The darkness within me
Stretching my soul
Expanding my mind
Exposing my heart
Hitting my guts
You teach me
Grip me
Stab me where it hurts
Make me confront my demons
Make me smile
Or weep
Or laugh
Urge me to think
To act
To know
To change
Or just to be
You.
For that moment you hold me
Own me
Rule me
Dominate me
Sometimes I lose sleep
And have you all night
Till I am sated
Or spent
Sometimes I set you aside
To wait for another round
Sometimes I consume you fast
Sometimes I take my time
Sometimes I hold back
Sometimes fatigue overcomes me
Some nights my husband finds me asleep
With you on my pillow
He sighs and wakes me
To scold me or mock me
You.
The whole of you
My guilty pleasure
My addiction
My need
My obsession
My prized possession
Books, the ultimate seduction
(And you thought it was something else, right? )
Clustering the jumble of my thoughts
Long held captive
In a heart afraid to tell
By a mind too judgmental
Of the writer who just was not good enough
Feeling the shift
In my head
In my gut
Through my pen
Moving, sliding, traveling in circles
Along the once blank paper
Finding myself
Hesitantly, tentatively
Then courageously
Extricating what’s hidden
Exposing what is forbidden
And the words spill out
My mind speaks up
My heart gushes
And there on paper is me
Categories
In Sonya’s Garden
by Gege Sugue
(Or maybe I should call this: The Unbearable Lightness of Doing Nothing)
Finding myself
In this garden wonderland
Where the smells and sights
Flavors and textures accost the senses
Leaving me breathless
Yet filled with life
The scent of tarragon
Of eucalyptus, mint and basil
Invading, tickling my nostrils
Relaxing my mind
Once strained and stressed
Oceans of green
Refreshing my eyes
Bursts of purples and pinks
Of yellows, blues, and crimson
Awakening my spirit
Against the pitch dark night
The dancing, flickering white of flirting fireflies
Arousing wonder
Giving delight
The chirping of cicadas
The croaks of frogs
The distant mooing of the cows
Amusing my soul
Teaching me that music
Need not come out of an electronic box
And my tone deaf ears
Do not mean the song within me
Cannot be sung
At Sonya’s dining room
I cleansed my palate
Off the city’s fast food junk and gunk
And my tongue discovered
Feasts of flavors
Of fresh herbs and organic leaves
Of virgin oils and buttery bread
Of slow cooked dishes
Of meats of animals free to roam the range
Of food that comfort
And also surprise
With twists and secret recipes
I discovered the novel experience
Of plucking leaves from the plant
Instantly popping them into my mouth
I discovered flowers that looked good
And tasted even better
I discovered a unique and splendid use for mint
That has forever changed my reaction to yams
At Sonya’s Garden I tasted
I savored a million wonderful healthy flavors
I found myself in Sonya’s Garden
In slow, solitary walks
The space around me
Bathed in the deep dark blue of dusk
I floated along meandering paths
Of bricks and dust
Strewn with muted lights
Diffused by color stained glass
The lightness of my steps
The stillness that soothed frayed nerves
The silence embracing me
All these hushing my noisy mind
Illuminating the yearnings of my heart
The way the sunlight spilled
Into the room told me
I was no longer in that urban jungle called home.
Instead, I was a visitor in a jungle I couldn’t call mine
Where a bug on the dining table
And a caterpillar on my chest
Which in the city would bring about manic screams
But in here seemed natural
Something to giggle about
I was, after all, the one invading these insects’ territory
And I discovered that home need not be in just one place
Finding myself
Doing nothing
Yet learning
And growing
Resting without guilt
Slowing down
Yes, I had time to smell the roses
And arrange them
I discovered, awakened creativity long lay latent
Finding myself
Munching English tea sandwiches
Sipping rosebud tea
Engaging in useless banter
Talking without agenda
Discovering that the art of conversation
Can sometimes be in not having one at all
Finding myself ensconced in my gorgeous brass bed
Draped in crisp, white linen
When my brain felt like mush
After an hour of sheer ecstasy
As Joy, my masseuse, kneaded my muscles
Unknotting knots
Destressing the stress
Of a body battered by the business of daily living
Discovering I can sleep before
Finding peace and bliss in a pillow scented with ylang-ylang
I found myself in Sonya’s Garden
Showering in the wild
With nature as my curtain
Invisible, imagined voyeurs forgotten
I found within me
The courage to bare
In Sonya’s Garden
There were no keyboards to pound
And I found myself writing
The old fashioned way
Right brain dominating
Taking over left brain’s control
Murano pen scribbling and drawing
Leaving a trail of ink
Scented jasmine
Across the paper’s surface
And I discovered that writing
Need not be a painful practice
Of squeezing thoughts and smithing words
That I can write from the gut
And have the courage to bare my soul
I found myself in Sonya’s Garden
In this garden wonderland I had a glimpse
A vision of what I want to be
In the frenzy of doing nothing
I experienced a sampler of the life I want to live
In the dry, lifeless silence of the couples in the dining room
I saw the life of the marriage I did not want
As I missed the people not here
I learned what and whom I value
I found myself in Sonya’s garden
I am that caterpillar
Precariously balancing on the edge of the leaf
Imperfect outside
The beauty inside ready to burst forth
Plodding through life
Knowing something great is about to happen
Not quite sure what
Just knowing it’s going to be beautiful
I’m going to come out of my cocoon
Soon
Flying
Celebrating myself
Celebrating my discoveries
Celebrating the journey I’ve had
And the journey ahead
I found myself in Sonya’s garden
And I liked what I discovered
Categories
Shadows on the Pavement
- Rushing from point A to point B
- Mind shifting from goal 1 to goal 2
- Halting in my tracks
- Noticing the shadows on the pavement
- Sun and tree co-creators of an art piece
- Leaves casting their silhouettes
- On the concrete canvas I walk on
- A slight breeze
- A falling leaf
- Altering the artwork
- Awakening me from my reverie
- Picking up my steps
- Making up for lost time
- No time to admire shadows and silhouettes
- Thinking, later, there will be time to watch the pavement,
- Yeah, right, later
There’s a space inside me, a gaping hole,
That aches to be filled by another soul.
There’s a space in my life for one new being
Hungry for nourishment, love and caring,
There’s a space in my home waiting for a gift
From Him who receives the wishes I lift.
There’s a space in my heart that longs to love,
Waiting, hoping for an angel from above.
There’s a space in my ear that longs to hear,
A cry so sweet, a giggle so dear.
There’s space in my mind filled with knowledge
Sharing them with you would be my great privilege.
There’s a space in the nook of my arm,
Ready to hold you and keep you warm.
There’s a space in my being
Longing, longing, longing
1999
after having been diagnosed as having PCOS,
a non-life threatening condition that makes
conception a bit of a challenge
Categories
Shove Me the Money
image from http://www.hobotraveler.com/2005/12/streets-of-manila-photos.html
Eyes ten years older than they really are
A face well trained to incite sympathy
An empty stomach and a hungry heart
Sunburnt skin on a tired gaunt body
Calloused fingers tapping on car windows
Filthy hands begging for a mere peso
An angry scowl and an embittered frown
As he is ignored and looked down upon
Society’s shame, a syndicate’s pawn
City’s scourge, a politician’s icon
A corrupt cop’s lunch, a tourist eyesore
A pedophile’s wet dream, twisted pimp’s whore
Cursing his parents, wishing away time
Sniffing glue he escapes reality
Life of vandalism and petty crime
His dirty finger for humanity