Gege Cruz Sugue – Page 4 – Speak. Write. Play. Create. Connect

My Other Language

Hey, you’re here.
I don’t come here often.
Because the poet in me cannot be prodded.
Cannot be cajoled.
Cannot be directed.
Cannot even be bribed.

She stays inert.
Skimming below the surface,
Just observing,
Sensing,
Teasing,
Lurking silently,
Listening stealthily.

And then when she decides to wake up
And show up
And show off,
She just spews out words,
An outpouring of thoughts,
Gut spill, and heart bursts.

Rhyme and reason optional.
Eschewing the usual rational
Being who prefers prose,
The language she understands
With structure she can control.

But poetry-
It’s a different animal.
Scary,
Undisciplined,
Raw,
Leaving her vulnerable.
Her insides exposed.
Her masks removed.

And then suddenly,
It just ceases,
Just like that.

NO RHYME

Stifling

Post author By gege
Post date December 8, 2011
2 Comments on Stifling

It doesn’t take much
for a memory to resurface
a realization of loss to interrupt a moment
a longing to linger
an ache to assert itself

And in the middle of running to and fro
of idle thinking
or proactive doing

In a moment of solitude
or in the midst of a mob
in the act of living
in the business of breathing

An emotion gurgles
from a visceral place
Surprising
Shocking
Awaking a feeling indescribable

And I stifle a sob
retract a tear
suffocate a sigh
It only takes a moment
It doesn’t take much

NO RHYME

Grasping

Grasping for miracles

to bring back what is lost

Grasping for answers

to explain the meaning

behind the pain

Grasping for breath

as sobs engulf my lungs

Grasping for a vision

behind the haze of tears

Grasping for God

to hold my hand

as I drown in sorrow

Grasping to to stay afloat

as my body is weighed down

by a heart that feels like a ton of bricks

Grasping for love

and finding it in family and friends

Grasping for hope

Grasping for sleep

Grasping for rest

Grasping for silence

in a mind that never stops making noise

Grasping for noise

when all around is silence

and sadness and emptiness

Grasping for light

in a day made darker by a storm

Grasping her hand

and willing her to come back

Grasping for life

Grasping for control

Grasping for yesterday

for memories dulled by an addled mind

Grasping for joy

Grasping for peace

Grasping for comfort

Grasping for something to numb the pain

Grasping for normalcy

Grasping for strength

not just to stay standing

but to prop others too

Grasping to survive

Breathing

Inhaling

Exhaling

Taking one listless step

after another

Moving just to stop from collapsing

Hoping that someday

I will be more than just

grasping

I FLIP PAGES

Run to MIBF! Because there is no such thing as too many books!

Post author By gege
Post date September 11, 2011
5 Comments on Run to MIBF! Because there is no such thing as too many books!

You, book nut, you, yes, you, you don’t really need any convincing to go to MIBF 2011, right?

But just in case, you’re still vacillating, here’s my pitch:

This week, skip the caramel machiato and use that money to buy a book. Or two. Or more! What the hey, go splurge on books. You’ll find huge discounts and an ocean of book choices at MIBF.

So that week after next, when you have money again to hang out at Starbucks, you can be reading (or pretending to read) a nice-looking trade paperback that will not just make you smarter but also make you look smarter while you’re sipping that caramel machiato.

And I’m not just making you go so you can watch me speak about how you can start a book club at the first ever Filipino Reader Conference, okay? I mean I need the moral support and all, but really, just come.

And buy a lot of books! Because there is no such thing as too many books.

I FLIP PAGES

ReaderCon Filipino Friday Week 3

Post author By gege
Post date August 26, 2011
6 Comments on ReaderCon Filipino Friday Week 3

Shucks! I guess I missed Week 2. Anyway, it’s time for another:This week’s discussion starter:

How hard or easy is it to be a book lover in the Philippines? What are some of your frustrations as a Filipino reader? And what are the positive aspects of being a reader in the Philippines?

My reply:

So yesterday, I was at Fullybooked in Greenbelt, looking for a copy of Woman in Black by Susan Hill, this month’s book for our book club, Flips Flipping Pages. The customer service guy said in an accent I can’t quite place in a look that tells you it’s bad news, “We only have 2 copies–one is at Eastwood and one is at Marquee.

I tried to be a diva and asked if they could send the Eastwood copy to Greenbelt. (They once did that for me at Powerbooks; they sent a copy of a book from Greenbelt to Glorietta, and I felt like a really special customer.) The nice guy made a call to Eastwood, after which, the same bad-news expression appeared on his face. Somebody has bought the copy; probably a book club mate of mine. He said he could not contact Marquee, and I figured Pampanga was way too far for me to drive for a book.

Fully Booked can order it for me and it will get to me in 8 weeks. Powerbooks can give it to me sooner–5 to 6 weeks.

Both are not workable options. Our book club will meet in 4 weeks.

So, that’s what’s frustrating about being a book lover in the Philippines. The books are published so far away. They take too long to get here. And the bookstores only carry very few (6 or so) pieces of every SKU for books. Unless the book is Twilight, Harry Potter, or some other huge hit.

About Philippine published books, my issues are:

– uninteresting book covers (I do judge the book by its cover, among other factors.)

– poor quality paper

– rarely go on discount; the whole bookstore could be giving away books at 50% off, while the local books, if they are on sale at all, would only go for as low as 5% discount.

The positive aspects of being a Filipino reader is that English books are readily available. I lived in Vietnam for a few months, and that’s when I appreciated Philippine bookstores.

The other positive aspect to living in the Philippines: slow, heavy traffic, which gives you time to read while waiting for the red light. 🙂

I FLIP PAGES

I Flip Pages. Bow.

I can’t believe how extended this blogging drought has been. I do expect to come back to blogging eventually, but for now, being engaged in a career of words–of reading, writing, editing–makes flipping pages and blogging about it seem like work, rather than fun.

But anyway, I will come back here one blog at a time. And I’m glad there is this thing, this event that pushed me to blog today.

The first Filipino Reader Conference!

Readers of the Philippines unite and speak up on September 14, 2001, Wednesday, 1 to 6 PM.

ReaderCon Filipino brings together Pinoy book enthusiasts in a grand meet-up at The Manila International Book Fair at the SMX Mall of Asia Meeting Room 2. If you want to tell publishers and book purveyors what books you want to see more of, if you just want to be surrounded by books and book lovers, if you want to take your book reading experience to a

higher level, come join us!

To warm all of us up as we build up excitement for the event, there will be memes for readers, attending the conference or not, to participate in. The first one asks us to introduce ourselves as readers. So here’s mine.

I am Gege C. Sugue, also known as islandhopper in www.shelfari.com, a site for people who love books so much they have to have a website to post their most recent reads, book purchases, and even the books we lust for. Shelfari is also the site where I met others like me who have an inordinate, illogical, uncontrollable love for books. Pinoy book lovers meet at the forum of the group called Flips Flipping Pages (FFP).

When I started FFP back in 2007, I was just trying to find people to chat with about books during my insomnia hours. I never expected that that group would grow in numbers. We now have 1,427 online members. About a hundred of them actively participate in the online discussions. Who knows how many lurkers there are. A few dozens actually meet face to face during monthly book discussions.

Our monthly book discussions show how diverse we are as readers. So every month, I find myself reading different genres. Without the group forcing me to expand my literary comfort zones, I’d probably stick to novels by my favorite authors Jose Saramago and Margaret Atwood. I’d probably never try sci-fi. I would steer clear of fantasy. And I would never ever read a science book just for fun. But being part of a book club introduces you to genres and authors you would not normally read.

But enough about my book club, which you can check out here.

Lately, I have been buying pages more than I flip them. This has caused major storage (and walking without peril) issues at home. But I do try. I have challenged myself to read 80 books this year. I am way behind, but I will not give up trying. I have 4 1/2 months left.

Aside from the authors above, I also love Gabriel Garcia Marquez and have come to love Haruki Murakami, but really there are still so many authors I have not tried, nor read enough of, so it would be difficult to come up with a definitive list of favorites. I like books that shock me, make me laugh out loud, bawl out in tears, gasp audibly, and stay awake at night just thinking about it. I also read a lot of non-fiction books to help me in my career as trainer slash trainer slash writer. My various interests–art, architecture, home decorating, food, travel, crafts, fashion, photography–are reflected on my bookshelves.

I am a rabid collector of books–I collect biographies, coffee table books, chronicle books, cookbooks! I have a growing collection of The Little Prince in various languages and formats.

I also collect bookmarks. I guess you can imagine now what I meant about storage problems.

Anyway, take a look at the reviews on this blog to have a better idea of my reading habits, preferences, and aversions.

See you at the ReaderCon!

NO RHYME

Do you?

Post author By gege
Post date June 19, 2011
No Comments on Do you?

Do you ever feel your chest about to burst

Just out of sheer affection

For that person in front of you

Oblivious

Do you ever want to shout out

This person’s mine

This person chose me

Regardless

Do you ever stop your hand

From just touching to assure yourself

That person’s there

Staying

Do you ever hear your heart groan

Aching for more

Hungry for something

Unfathomable

Do you ever gnash your teeth

Wanting to be more than you can be

Better, prettier, sweeter

Desperately

Do you ever feel regret

That you weren’t always there

To understand the history behind the person

You now see

Do you ever feel your eyes fog up

Just at the thought of losing someone

Who means more than life

To you

Do you ever wonder how long

A lifetime you still have

To spend, to relish

Together

Do you?

Because sometimes,

Often,

Okay, once in a while,

I do

And if you didn’t

It would be just so sad

For me

And you

I FLIP PAGES

I Am Not Flipping Pages

Sigh.

Image stolen from: http://www.iyecon.com/?p=961

NO RHYME

Two Angels

Post author By gege
Post date April 20, 2011
1 Comment on Two Angels

About my friend A, whose father has never told his other children that he has another daughter.

Blood binds them
Ignorance divides them
Fears and lies hide them from the joys of connection
And the likely pains of revelation
Alone, detached from flesh and blood
She aches for a kinship denied
And wonders who knows
And questions who cares
Their father’s sin
From ages ago
Unconfessed , Unresolved
Yet still potent in its power to hurt
To deprive

To connect?
Or not?
That is the question the breaks the heart.
To reveal
To conceal
That’s the decision that may liberate
Or may scathe
Two angels apart
One knows
One lingers in a haze
One waits, her wings clipped
One unaware
The man that connects them
In perpetual denial
In a coward’s cloud